- The Opportunist: Willing to adjust strategy based on perceived market needs and predicted trends. Runs around looting bodies while teammates are dying in PVP because, “they just despawn so damned fast.” Known to reprice items in the AH to “more realistic” levels. Will go to the most remote regions in the land to get that one “ultra rare item”… and then sell it. Sells white items on the AH because “people are lazy, man.” His best ‘friends’ are his best customers. Has the Auctioneer add-on installed, but thinks of it more as a religion than a mod. Loathes AH fees and deposits. Can become emotionally unstable when undercut.
- The Farmer: Dual gathering specs. Mastered the art of flying in circles. Has routes planned out in advance and is willing to fervently debate the efficiency of these routes with anyone foolish enough to do so. Does very little actual ‘playing’ of the game. Despises other farmers and immediately assumes they are from China. Is known to say things like, “That’s my node,” or “stay out of my zone” and mean it.
- The Master Craftsman: Crafting specced, sometimes even dual crafting specced. Can answer questions like, “What mats do I need to craft X?” without even opening her tradeskill window. Bank is filled with crafting materials, even stuff that’s been obsolete for years because “you never know when you’ll need it.”
- The Daily Grinder: Money making efforts focus almost exclusively on daily quests. Has extensive opinions on which quests to group together in order to maximize profits from rewards. Thinks it is ridiculous that they can’t be friendly with both the Oracles and the Frenzyheart. Willing to help you with a dungeon, raid or quest after he finishes “just one last daily”. Is partial towards (is partial towards…is partial towards…is partial towards…is partial towards) repetitive game play elements. Thinks the Isle of Quel’Danas was the best content Blizzard ever created.
- The Deadbeat: Always broke and always ‘needs’ a new BoE item or enchantment. Willing to pay you next month (with interest) for 1,000 gold today. Says things like “I never borrow money, I really hate to do this…” while hitting you up for another 1,000 gold. Never, ever, repays loans and has maccro’d the phrase, “Oh man, I’m so sorry. I forgot all about that. How about I pay you next week?” Thinks that borrowing from Peter to pay Paul is a legitimate, and often overlooked, system of wealth generation. Wonders why there is not an in-game credit card system.
- The Ninja: Ninjas the most profitable loot from runs. Only question he asks on guild applications is how soon he can make withdrawals from the guild bank. Scams other players on his level 1 soon-to-be-deleted alt. Switches servers and/or toon names regularly to protect identity. Believes that if he ninjas something of high value it is the group member’s faults for letting him be the Loot Master. Wonders why everyone is “crying over pixels”. Thinks running an in-game casino is entirely within the ToS…or at least should be.
- The Dungeon Master: Solos old school dungeons at least once a day. Knows the strats for most heroic runs. Mumbles things like “Sheep the X” in his sleep. Sells valor bracers whenever possible. Regularly runs both regular and heroic daily instances- jumps with glee when they are the same instance. Thinks the guy that famously lost it [Strong language and NSFW] in the Onyxia raid was acting pretty reasonably. Loathes repair bills, noobs and PUGs. Could run Scarlet Monastary in his sleep, sometimes does.
- The Stripper: A female toon willing to dance for tips or gifts. Uses Outfitter or Blizzard’s equipment manager only to switch between clothed and naked modes. Will often say that you look “handsome and strong,” and that she thinks you “have a big sword.” Almost always a lower level to enhance the “please help me, I can’t afford to buy my skills” effect. Begs for run-throughs and boosts, but prefers you just pay for a dance. Is willing to go with you to the tram tunnel for additional fees. Thinks the implementation of Blood Elves was solely so that the Horde could have hotties as well. Uses terms like ‘MUAH’, ‘Rawr’, ‘<3 U’ and is prone to frequent /hugs. Does very little actual playing of the game and has a large fan base of pubescent teen boys. Is almost always a G.I.R.L (Guy in Real Life).
- The Mercenary: Provides services such as portals, enchantments, lock boxes opened… for a tip. Known to add those that don’t tip to friends list so that they can forever keep an eye on them and harass them about their cheapness whenever possible. Provides runs for lower levels and alts for gold. Knows the Stockades, Zul’Farrak and Deadmines like the back of his plated fist. Is almost always a melee DPS class. Has the term “Don’t die nub” maccro’d and key bound. Gets paid up front.
- The Barterer: Will trade his Titansteel cooldown for a stack of buff food, for an enchanted vellum, for an orb, for a few eternals, for an Abyss Crystal, for a stack of flasks, for an epic BoE item, for a rare non-combat pet, for… Rarely, if ever, actually cashes in. Often too broke for consumables or food, but is willing to pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today.
🙂 So… which one are you?